Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Headlines: This Week in Seattle

by Miles Strucker

  • After receiving B.A., Garfield grad uses the word 'subjectivity' at party.
  • Ballard man retires to write dystopian novel set in present day Ballard.
  • Authorities rescue black man from Bellevue.
  • Local 22 year-old to wear something sexy for Halloween.
  • Seattle Prep, University Prep, to merge.
  • Studying abroad in South America the new coming of age for local bourgeoisie.
  • Asterisk a sign of steroid use, doctors say.
  • Seahawks fans embarrassed to be 12th man.
  • NCAA to implement salary cap on bribes.
  • Study finds yoga a hoax.
  • 75% of Americans think socialism attacked us on 9/11, poll reveals.
  • "Everything is connected, just not that much," admits realistic guru.
  • Local pariah pushes questionable sense of humor on acquaintances.

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